|
HOWARD JOHNSON MOTOR INN
TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA
2:30 AM
Scully's sweat poured through her pajamas, soaking the sheets.
Mulder could feel the heat eminating from her like a sauna,
even though the room was fully air-conditioned. The July
heat and humidity in Toronto just hours after the Stones'
"SARSstock" concert could not hold a candle to the temerature
on her side of the bed. But the tossing and writhing was
something else: fearful kicking and flaying, muffled sounds
turning into full-fledged screams. "No! My BABY, my BAYBEEEE!
William!!! No. NONONONONO! GIVE MEEEEEE!"
He'd heard Scully's nightmares before, but this one definitely
required intervention and counselling before she threw herself
into a wall, so he gently shook her shoulder. "Dana, it's
me... Dana, wake up... you're safe..." It felt like he was
struggling with an alligator. "C'mon! Dana..." He forced her
upright and held her close to his chest. "Talk."
Scully awoke almost unable to speak and shaking. "Oh, Mulder...
I'm so sorry. I haven't had one of these in months. It's so...
it's mine. I'll deal with it. It's over... all scary...
nightmares. I'll be fine. Go back to sleep."
The psychologist in Mulder knew, as did the lover in him know,
Scully was not 'fine'. "I need to hear what that was about.
You are NOT fine, you are sweaty, shaky and definitely in a
panicked state. I'll rock and you talk."
The silence between them lasted for perhaps ten minutes,
giving Dana Scully time to calm down and sort through her
thoughts. Then tears, hot and acrid, streamed down her face.
"I can't think of anything harder than what I did. I am so
sorry, and you can't imagine HOW sorry. I miss him so much,
wasn't quite finished even weaning him and that was too early,
and I can't justify it to you. You can't say you aren't hurting
either. We both want to hold William so much. I get these hot,
anxious flushes when I think of holding him. Even when I
see small babies. I have dreams that... "
"I know," Mulder was almost crying, "Dreams that won't go away.
He's living someone else's life, we're living someone else's
life. We're driving a rental but not a rental for a case at
work."
"We're us, and we're NOT US," Scully sobbed. "When can we be
ourselves again? Tomorrow? Next year?"
"I think", Mulder began, as he wiped her face with tissue after
tissue, "It's time to take our lives back. When we do that,
when we take control, then we will begin to heal. In the morning,
the van goes back over the border to Lariat Rentals, and we get
on a plane. A plane, Scully. We go to Georgetown and show your
mother the respect she deserves. We go out to YOUR car, Dana
Scully's car, and we replace OUR identities, our lives. Then we
go to my Dad's house on the Vineyard and we go through the
evidence, but not before we call that adoption agency and tell
them that as the parents, we consider the adopton to be invalid,
tell them who wasn't here for it, get a lawyer if we have to,
and go for William."
"I don't think it's a good thing to get so impulsive," Scully
advised. "Who's out there waiting? We can't put ourselves or
William in danger..."
"I don't think we are, dear Starbuck. Are we really that
important in the invasion scheme of things from the alien
viewpoint? I doubt it. They have too many other things to control,
inveigle, deceive, obvuscate, plan. And as far as I'm concerned,
you and William are top priority right now. I want a happy,
smiling, nightmare-free Dana Katherine Scully at my side. My
firstmate. We're going to take charge and get on with living, damn
it!"
Scully looked at Mulder and smiled that warm smile when every-
thing just kicks in and feels right. "Welcome back, Mulder.
You're really back now." As she snuggled into his big chest,
she closed her eyes. "Thank you, God. I have my Fox Mulder
back."
"All right. As beautiful as you may look even now, wash your face,
change those pajamas, and let's get some normalcy back into our
lives tomorrow."
Scully rose from the bed. She was a mess, but a mess Mulder loved.
"Need a drink, too. What about John and Monica??" she called
from the bathroom.
"We'll call them in the morning, I assure you. Never forsake
your friends. Now, get back here and get your rest, because as
of tomorrow morning, our new motto is: 'Let's Rock the Boat!'"
Scully climbed back into bed in an old oversized tee-shirt. "I
like it. And I like having you back, 'Spunky'".
"Get over here and love me, Scully. It's 'Spooky'. And it's
spooky what you've been doing to me all these years."
"Then let's rock the boat!" Yes, she thought, it's good to be
in the real Mulder's arms again, loving substance instead of
shadow. And she took him to his own port in paradise.
|
