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Damn Good Cup of Coffee

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Rated: PG-13 (A couple of marginally naughty
words).

Category: Humor, Cross-over, and Tomfoolery.

Spoilers: Set somewhere in Season 7.

Summary: While wrapping up a case that turns
out to have been an ordinary murder, Scully
discovers a couple of things she hadn't
known about Mulder.

Feedback: Gratefully accepted at:
patfiler2016@outlook.com

Archive: Gossamer. I take care of the rest and
will give the story to you if you ask, please.
Other than that, it's my site that sees it next.

Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully and Kersh are owned
by Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and
Fox Studios. No money made and no copyright
infringements intended. "Twin Peaks" was created
by David Lynch and Mark Frost and the same
disclaimer applies to money and copyright
infringement.


OLDE BELLOWS MOTEL
MIDNIGHT

Good Old Mulder. Always the type you could count
on to fall asleep with the TV on because TV and
insomnia were his best defences against those recurring
nightmares of the fateful night his sister was kidnapped
and he could do nothing to stop that.

Scully returned to the motel from the hospital morgue
to find Good Old Mulder asleep at the clicker, deftly
let herself in and turned off the set.

"Hey! That was one of the best Twin Peaks episodes!"
he shouted, blinking and going for his holster
instinctively.

"I don't know which episode you were watching, Mulder,
but I just saw 'Teens Gone Wild'. The autopsy on the
Belden case was quite revealing." She sat in Mulder's
chair and opened the folder containing the pertinent
information.

Mulder sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, so was the
show. Some DEA Agent comes in to deal with the crap going
on when Cooper gets accused by the Canadian Mounties AND
the FBI of selling illlegal substances and screwing up a
stake-out. Pretty good-looking cross-dresser, too.
Dennis/Denise. Gets to like the female side of himself."

"Yeah, well the county Medical Examiner's Office found
that Elmer Belden died of three gunshot wounds directed to
the abdomen, ballistics identified the gun as that of one
Paul Belden, son of the victim, and there's no sign of any
alien activity as Paul Belden claimed. The marks from his
father's supposed 'abduction' were actually carbuncles,
and when arrested, Belden produced a tire jack, which
officers easily wrestled from him at ten this evening, while
you were watching some cross-dressing DEA agent on a quirky
prime time soap opera."

"Denise was cute," Mulder said with a wink, which was met
with a raised eyebrow. "But not as cute as my partner," he
was quick to add.

"No doubt, Now, about the abduction investigation, Mulder.
No other people have come forward claiming to have been
abducted in the past three days, so it's almost a certainty
we are through here." Scully noticed the marked silence of
Mulder. "Now what?"

"You said 'almost'. Does my heart good to hear you just
might think there's a tiny possi-- "

"Mulder, no. No way are we sticking around here waiting
for UFO sightings while Kersh calls us at one-hour intervals
to find out what the hell we're doing!"

"Okay. Be like that. Turn off the light when you leave."

Scully left with her file and retired to her room with mock
derision.

OLDE BELLOWS MOTEL
8:30 AM

Scully had naturally set her alarm clock to 7:00 AM, showered
and dressed for the day. She knocked on Mulder's door and
heard nothing. As she opened the door, she found him nicely
curled up, fast asleep and apparently deaf.

As she gently nudged him, he murmured, "Don't let the Log
Lady in here."

"C'mon, Mr. Late Night. Time to catch the plane and go home."

"Yeah. Give me time to shower and we'll get something to eat
on the way to the airport. Meet me at the car in one hour."

She gave that a thought. "One hour. But not a minute more,
Mulder! We're already in big doo-doo with Kersh."

Mulder emerged from the sheets and went straight for the
bathroom. "Deal."

10:15 AM

Finally, they were on the road to the airport. Their Lariat
rental was definitely on its last legs and the bumpy roads
didn't help that matter much.

Scully glanced over at Mulder who was thinking about what he
had seen on cable the previous night. "Mulder. What's with
the tie?"

"Hmm?"

"The tie."

"What? Not glitzy enough for you like Denise's lipstick?"

"Mulder, I don't know what you see in those paranormal shows.
Wait, maybe I do. Regardless, you are wearing a real, honest
to goodness, tastefully conservative necktie!"

Mulder looked at his chest in jest and exclaimed," Oh no!
It's got... it doesn't have any patterns!"

Scully clapped and kept a straight face. "It's the one I got
for you for Christmas, after that ridiculous trip out to the
haunted house. Navy blue, and actually goes with the suit!"

"I thought I'd start wearing it some day. Look, the airport
is still about half an hour away. How about a coffee?"

Scully pretended to yawn, then found she really did need to
yawn. Considering the little sleep she had had and her rush
to leave the little town, naturally she was sleep deprived.
"Sounds great."

Five minutes later, they entered a small roadside cafe
replete with truckers and farmers.

They chose a corner table. Actually any table would have
done, but they felt rather overly-dressed and most of the
clientele were sitting at the counter anyway. The table was
adorned with a traditional checkered table cloth that
sported a white vase with beautifully assorted spring
flowers: forget-me-nots and daffodils.

A middle-aged brunette appeared to take their orders. "We
have a late brunch deal with eggs and bacon, blueberry muffins
or toast, or coffee and donuts with a bonus pack of donut
holes."

"Two coffees, cream on the side and... " Mulder looked at
Scully.

"A couple of muffins," Scully offered.

"Coming right up! And don't pay any heed to them farmers
over there. The next time I hear them talkin' about crop
circles... "

Mulder's eyes lit up. Yes, it was definitely lust.

"To go," Scully added. "C'mon, Mulder. Kersh is up our butts
and the only circles you'll be seeing are the ones on the
firing range if we don't get home. Coffee and muffins to go.
I'll pay, Dennis."

"But this is my lucky day, Scully! Well, we are under fire
right now, and I didn't get any tips. The Gunmen would have
let us know anyway if there had been any crop circle
activity."

As they continued along the road to the airport, Scully
smirked as she wondered just what Mulder would look like
dressed as a woman. "Damn good cup of coffee," she said with
a wink.

Mulder just smiled. Things were warming up after all.




END

Author's Notes:

I asked my friends at Mulder's Refuge to challenge me with five
words (or items) with which to write a story because I wanted to
write. Lisa and Vickie came up with some suggestions, Vickie's
five items were utilized and I relieved a lot of stress! Thanks,
ladies!

REQUIREMENTS:

neck tie (conservative)

a tire jack (the thing you use to fix a tire)

springtime flowers in a vase

Twin Peaks television show (second season with Agent Bryson
-- DD's transvestite character, working for the DEA)

an alarm clock

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