Rated: PG

Category: MT, H.

Spoilers: None

Time frame: Before Season 7.

Feedback: Please! I always answer.
patfiler2016@outlook.com

Archive: Gossamer, any other nice home. Please
tell me so I can see the other peoples' stories!



Author's Note: This story has nothing to do with the
Mytharc. I just thought it odd that one of the side effects
of 'flu vaccine 2003-2004 happens to be ILLNESS. Yeah!
Says so on the information sheet here in Ontario. Fun?
Wow! And 'flu shots are VERY mundane -- usually.



J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
WASHINGTON, DC


Scully glanced at the monitor on Mulder's desk, checking
that her autopsy report had been properly detailed and
corroborated by the coroner in Malibu. "I think that about does
it, Mulder. Dr. Alman sent the rest of the findings on Benny
Coghill, I've added my two cents' worth, so now we've
concluded that the cause of death was strangulation. I think
Mrs. Coghill is in for a long, long, stay in hospital. Anything
coming up before I make my plans for Thanksgiving?"

"Well, I hear there's a Star Wars Marathon all weekend. Care
to join me in the salute to the laser sabers?" That boyish grin and
enthusiasm could prove annoying, yet charming at the same time.

"No. I think I'll just see if Skinner has something better for us to do.
You know. Like earning our paychecks. That sort of thing."

"Spoiled sport. You know, you really could use a change of
scenery, Scully."

"Change of scenery? Yes, you must mean my apartment. I haven't
seen it in so long. By the light of day, anyway. We have been on the
road so much our gas mileage must be close to the national debt by
now."

"See America by the scenic route, I always say. You through with the
computer?" Mulder was anxious to print out the report and hand it to the
Assistant Director.

"Yup. All ready for the boss." Scully let Mulder into his chair and dialed
Skinner's extension. "I'll let him know we're on our way upstairs. Into the
daylight."

Skinner went over the case report and closed the folder. "Well, I must
say you've both been prompt this time, to say the least.Congratulations
on your best non-X-File case to date."

"Thank you, Sir." Mulder seemed rather bored by it all. He had hoped
that last one would turn up something out of the ordinary. Perhaps a little
psychic phenomenon, a lead on the aliens... but no.

"I think I can say Agent Mulder held up quite well under the boredom,"
Scully remarked. "I knew he wanted something more exciting."

Skinner suppressed a grin. He folded his hands atop the desk. "Well, I do
have a case in Adams, Minnesota that warrants your attention. And, Agent
Mulder, you may find it rather mundane, but we do need your help what with
the caseload lately." Skinner reached over the desk and fished a file out of
his pile of folders. "Mysteriously, several hundred people in Adams, Minnesota
have complained of complete hair loss. The doctors are at a loss to explain
the cause of this phenomenon, and I suggest you two investigate promptly if
you wish to spend Thanksgiving at home. Dismissed."

"More mundane, Scully. Lately, we just can't find any more unexplainable things
like alien abductions, the secret lair of C.G.B. Spender or why socks get lost in
the dryer," Mulder moaned, as they headed for the elevator. He shook his head.
"It's sad."

"Well, at any rate, we should be home by Thanksgiving," Scully smiled.

"You're boring, Scully. You know that? And you enjoy it."

As the elevator doors opened, she replied, "Boring is your
word for stable, Mulder. Believe me, I want more stability than you know."

"If you say so, partner. If you say so."

***

The red-eye into Minneapolis was uneventful for the agents. It was the drive
into the town of Adams that found Mulder more verbal than he had been on the plane.
"Scully, those billboards are telling us to get our 'flu shots."

"Well, yeah, it's the same in every state at this time of year, Mulder. So what?"

"We've seen at least five for every mile we've driven so far."

"No, you have, because I've been trying to catnap. And maybe this state just happens
to have more money to advertise this sort of thing than, say, D.C. or Virginia."

"Still, it's rather unusual."

"Yeah. Stable."

"Shame, Scully. America was built on the unknown, the undiscovered, the unusual.
Look! There's another one!" He pointed to Scully's side of the road.

"Wow! Did you count cars and cows, too, on family trips?"

"No. Barns. With stable things... " He thought she might at least smirk at the pun,
but no such luck.

"Barns." She just shook her head. *Boring*, was her thought. *And what a campy
remark.*

They stopped at the usual type of motel, ordered the usual two rooms and
decided to investigate the hair-loss epidemic in Adams the next day.

It was inhospitable weather, to say the least. The year's first snowstorm decided
to arrive on the northwest winds the following day. At least it wasn't difficult to get
to the main street and find the Police Station. Chief Bo Gleason met the agents at
the door to his office with a hearty smile and two strong handshakes.

"Can't say I can apologize for the weather, 'cause I didn't order it," he grinned.

Scully smiled warmly as they were offered seats. "We're pretty used to any weather
conditions, Sir. I have a feeling things have been rather unsettled around here in other
areas of life."

"We've been told there have been a rash of, for want of a better word, "sudden
hair-loss". More hair loss than in a twenty year span given the population and genetic
make-up of the citizens."

"Yes." Gleason poured them coffee and made one for himself. "Now, no one seems
to know exactly why this is happening. Our doctors are stumped, they don't know
WHAT to say to the men and women who are experiencing this... trouble, and even
the Center For Disease Control has no answers."

"Baldness isn't exactly a disease," Scully mused. "Although my father did say it was
a curse in the windy seas. Mostly the causes are a type of excess of testosterone
or aggravated psoriasis. Sometimes ringworm... "

"I take it you've checked into those possibilities, too," Mulder surmised. There was
only a faint smile from the Chief. "I thought so. That's why Agent Scully and I are here.
Do you have a full list of the doctors in the area?"

"Sure. They're stymied, and giving out a lot of immunizations these days, but they
want this thing looked into just the same as the patients do. Heck, half of them went
bald these past few weeks, and some of them just graduated out of medical school."

"I'll want to do some tests on some of the patients, too," Scully said flatly.

"She's seen a lot since working with me," Mulder chuckled.

Scully scowled and finished her coffee. "Thank you for your time, Sir. If we can have
a list of the doctors now, we can get started before the snow covers our motel
windows."

"And a laugh a minute," Mulder added dryly. He didn't much like being outdone.

The Chief retrieved a directory from his computer and handed it to Scully. "And while
you're here," he advised them, "Best get your shots. They're predicting one nasty
strain of influenza this year."

"Thanks," Mulder replied. "Guess there's no real excuse now."

As they left the Police Station, the wheels were already turning in Scully's head. "DNA
and blood samples, Mulder. I think I want to do an Influenza A titre as well."

"Billboards finally got to you, right, Scully?" Mulder unlocked the car and they sat for
a moment before driving out.

"Maybe all the years of conspiracy theories and The Lone Gunmen. There's just
something that smells like experiment here. Can't put my finger on it."

"That's my new aftershave," Mulder quipped. "'Caveman'. Like it? It's de rigeur in
Paris right now."

"Why are you in such a good mood out here? There's a blizzard... there's.. there's
sudden baldness, there's those vaccinations... there's... "

"Excitement! You know I hate desk duty."

"Yes, Mulder. It's too 'mundane' for you. Let's get going to those doctors' offices. My
service piece hasn't been fired in weeks and my trigger finger... "

"I get the idea."

There were seven doctors in the town, so the task was not going to be that
monumental. The weather, however, was not co-operating with their driving. They
did manage to reach the first office on the list unscathed by the elements.

The sign on the front door of the old house read, "Dr. Anne Haughton, M.D. Family
Practice Since 1990." The office door was open so, the agents forced the door
closed against the wind and approached the receptionist.

"Ah, yes," a young brunette offered. "You must be the Mertons waiting for the
prenatal screening."

"No," Mulder said seriously. "We're FBI. Special Agents Mulder and Scully looking
for the good doctor. It's about the baldness going around."

The Nurse frowned. "I see. Have a seat. I think she'll see you right after the one
she's seeing now. We decided to cancel all non-serious appointments after this
last one. We've cancelled the other appointments today. A bit blustery out there."

"Oh, yeah," Scully agreed. "We've seen worse in the Antarctic." She flipped the
pages of a magazine.

"Been there, did that, got the tee shirt," Mulder droned. "How 'bout that 'flu epidemic
they're predicting?"

"Too early to tell," the Nurse smiled. "Maybe it'll just blow off like last year's, or blow
in with a bang. I'm sure you both have had the..."

"We will. Really. While we're in town. But work precedes any possible
complications." Mulder was trying to gauge her reaction to the statement, but there
was none.

"Doesn't hurt a bit," she said. "Really."

"I am not scared. Are you, Agent Scully?"

"Who, me? No. A grown up lady doctor like me? Kid stuff."

As she said that, a young woman exited the examination room with her five-year-old
son. "Now, I told you no crayons up your nose. Now do you believe what the doctor
told you?"

"Yeah, Mummy. Crayons in the box, crayons on the paper. No crayons on the walls
or up my nose."

"I think the doctor's free," Mulder whispered. "Do you still want children, Scully?"

"Uh huh. Let's get this over with."

"Go on in," the Nurse said. "I am out of here. Hope you find your answers."

Dr. Haughton was a petite blonde, about thirty-two-years and perky."You must be the
FBI agents Barb told me about. Have a seat."

"Thank you." Mulder opened the questioning. "Have you noticed any of your patients
suddenly experiencing... "

"Major fall out? Yes, I have. Women and men. Only adults, of course. We've all been
having meetings over it. There are only seven of us here, so it hasn't been hard to get
together over coffee after work. No one can pin it on any family history, medication
use or disease factor. I feel sorry for the younger women with long hair. They are
absolutely freaked out over this."

"Would you mind if I saw any of your patients to do some tests? I am a medical
doctor. I specialize in forensic pathology, but I can access the FBI lab. All I'll need are
some blood samples and scalp samples."

Haughton hesitated for a moment. "Well, if they sign the consent forms. But the airport
could be shut down by the looks of it."

"We have time, I think," Mulder told her. "We can also do some testing here. Dr. Scully
is very good at what she does. She can be in contact with our lab in Washington and
keep everything strictly confidential. These people are not suspects, Dr. Haughton."

"No, they're not. They're victims -- of something. Some disease process, toxin. We
really have no idea. Actually, I have a beta HCG blood sample on a pregnant woman
in the office. As long as you leave enough for me to work on, I see no problem."

"Thank you." Scully had one question that had been nagging at her. "Has this woman
had her 'flu shot?"

"Yes, she has. Last week. Why?"

"Just wondering. The 'flu can really be nasty during pregnancy."

"I think we'd better get to our next destination before we're stuck here," Mulder
decided aloud. "Call me or Dr. Scully at these numbers if you think of anything else."
He passed their business cards to the doctor.

"I will. Drive carefully."

"Yes, Ma'am." Mulder put his arm in the small of Scully's back as they left the inner
office. "I think she's on the up-and-up. Now, let's see about Dr. Guillermo Falletta."

Falletta's office was only about a quarter mile away, but the drive was slow and the
car spun out twice. It took them an hour to reach the office building on the main
thoroughfare.

Falletta's office was small and home-style comfortable. But he was much less
co-operative than his colleague across town.

"I see no reason to allow you to take blood from anyone under my care as I have
done so many tests and come up with absolutely nothing. As for tissue samples,
forget it. Let the EPA investigate the water or the soil. Maybe THEY'LL be less
invasive." The man was in his fifties and more than a bit gruff.

"Do you use that tone in your bedside manner? Because if you do, you had better
shape up!" Scully was pissed and Mulder could tell. "This is serious, and people
have suffered. We've been sent to investigate, so don't use that tone with Federal
Agents!"

"Right. Well, as you can see, I really must get home to shovel the driveway out so
I can get the car into the driveway. Now, if you'll excuse me... "

"If we have to," Mulder shot back. "Here's my card. Thanks for your time." He
ushered Scully out of the office. "We are moving the car about one block down, and
coming straight back to this dungeon," he muttered, as he unlocked the car doors.

"We don't have a search warrant."

"We have probable cause, Scully. It's probable he may know the cause of this town's
hair loss. And you saw the vials upon vials of vaccine when you went into his
refrigerator in the back room, like you were really in need of the washroom."

"Never hurts to check, partner."

"Now we're on the same wavelength, Scully."

"Okay. Do your magic on the lock. Then let's get back to the motel. I think the rest of
the day is a loss. It's 2:30 and the snow is just too risky." Scully held up three
vaccine vials.

"Sorry. The blood samples were in the centrifuge and in the outgoing samples cart.
They go out tonight."

"Probable cause... " Mulder felt about three feet tall. "Scully, I think you're beginning to
learn from me."

"I have my Thanksgiving at home to think of," she said. "And how could I let you keep
picking all the locks, anyway? There he goes. Let's get in there and out of here."

It took three hours of stop, start, push and skid driving for them to manage to get
near the motel. Finally, they just parked a mile away and walked. As for the evening
meal, at least there was a convenience store across from the motel.

Scully ripped open a bag of Doritos for Mulder and decided to take her chances
with a nearly expired tub of yogurt. When the sodas were opened, it was time to
strategize.

"Scully, just how do you think you'll get anything out to Washington in this weather?"
Mulder was towel drying his hair and pacing his room.

"The airport's not closed yet, Mulder. Forgot, you weren't listening to the radio, you
were picking the lock. While I was in the car, I got the rundown on the storm. It's
veering off and they're keeping the airport up and running for now. All I need to do is
get a courier to take it to the airport, and I can keep some of the samples here for
analysis. I can use the lab at the hospital over the hill out there."

"You can't go out in that."

"Yes, Mulder, I can. And I just know you will back me up all the way as we enter
the hospital." she stirred the yogurt vigorously. "Besides, maybe the cafeteria is
open."

"Yum," Mulder muttered, as he grabbed a handful of Doritos. "Think I'll just stick
with these and get a refill on the way back."

"Coward."

"I've HAD my share of hospital food. Torture, and overcooked mush. Sunflower
seeds keep my system safe." As Scully just glared at him, he grabbed his tortilla chips
and overcoat. "Let's get going," he said, with a resigned pout.

The walk through a snowy woodland was no picnic. But since they had no car, there
was no choice.

While Mulder flashed his badge at the hospital Administrator, Scully made a call to the
lab in Washington and then ordered a courier for some of the samples.

Dr. Harry Muniz, a very bald, strict fellow protested at once when Scully was
granted access to the hospital laboratory. "We just can't have every doctor
around running tests here and wasting our resources!" He angrily shouted.

"I assure you, I am a Medical Doctor, and as a Federal Agent, I can also have you
ordered to let me do this testing, so let's just cut the crap and get this over with." Scully
was stern, yet calm. Her training at the Academy had given her that air of authority that
was needed to get things done in a timely fashion. And it had saved her life in the field.

As Scully worked with slides and D.N.A. analyses, Mulder looked on.

"You may as well take a walk around, Mulder. Get a coffee or something. You can run this
package down to the lobby for the courier for me. This is going to take a while."

"Yeah. I could use the exercise. Play it safe, okay?"

"I will. Don't eat anything that's moving." She didn't look up from her microscope, so she
failed to see Mulder rolling his eyes.

The courier was about an hour later than estimated, due to the early snowstorm, so
Mulder had time to grab a sandwich from a vending machine. and a cup of cruelly cold coffee
from the Maxwell House tastebud torture apparatus beside it in the lobby.

What he hadn't counted on was the sting he felt in his derriere as he rode the elevator back to
the fifth floor. As there were six other people aboard, he had difficulty deciding who was the
idiot who injected him without first rubbing his rump with alcohol. That being the case, he
pushed the 'STOP' button and pulled out the I.D. and service revolver. "FBI! No one leaves
until I get an answer! Who gave me the shot!?"

He surveilled the elevator. There was an orderly accompanying a labouring woman, three
uniformed nurses, and a doctor. "Well, I think this lady wants to get to L&D, so let's have
an answer before we all witness a birth, okay?"

"Dr. Guillermo Falletta. You were in my office earlier." The physician had some morality after
all. "Thought I was doing you a favour, seeing as you had no time for your immunization. As
for your partner, I really believe it is in her best interests to... "

"She is busy, doctor. And she wouldn't let you near her, under the circumstances in this
town. Seems she rather likes her hair." He got the elevator moving again, with a close
watch on Falletta. "I think we need to talk. And you can buy me a toupee for
Thanksgiving."

When they reached the lab, Scully already felt she had some much needed answers.
"You ought to see this. Mulder. I think... I think you've already got about 65 per cent of
what or who we need."

"Yeah, plus a 'flu shot. Free. What's your take on this, Scully?"

"Well, it seems the vaccine was altered genetically to somehow initiate the manufacture
a type of hormone needed to cause the victims to produce the same type of testosterone
that encourages hair loss in men. Only, it also alters women's systems to produce it as
well. Which explains the sudden hair loss in the women of Adams. I take it this is one of
our main suspects. Faletta, and I wouldn't dare call you 'doctor', who are you working
for!?" She shouted. "FDA? CIA? Or some nameless bunch we've been dealing with all
these years?" Her eyes were fire when she was enraged.

"I don't need to say anything without my lawyer present," the doctor stated emotionlessly.
There were no further words from the man on that. "And, buy your own wig, mister."

"Well," Mulder quipped, "At least I'll be all the rage with Skinner. Let's get things going,
Scully. I think we're done here. The only thing left is... "

"Not to look at the shower drain," Scully said without a smile. "Relax," she advised him. "I still think you're worth a beer and a movie.


END