December 5, 10:30 PM EST
It's three weeks until Christmas, and getting a tad chilly
in the room where I write. I don't mind, though,
writing about my two favorite characters in fan fiction. Now,
where was I?
Mulder lay listless on the floor of the abandoned warehouse,
as Scully took his pulse. The puddle
of blood beside him
grew larger, but he was still able to speak in a whisper.
"Hang on, Mulder. We caught Raymond. You'd better save your
"No," he whispered, his eyes pleading with Scully. "I need
to tell you something."
"It can wait," she softly assured him. "With all the insanity
and blood-shed of the past couple of days,
I think it can
wait. You couldn't have known Raymond was a latter day
Jack-the Ripper... "
"But it wasn't him, Scully!" It took all Mulder's strength
to utter the words, and he felt as though he
was passing out.
"Are you saying there's someone else? That he had an
accomplice? Where are the damn paramedics!?"
"He... he has a twin, Sc- Scully."
"A twin? A monozygotic twin brother?"
Scully arched a brow.
"Look, even if he does what's more important right now is
that we get you to the
Ow! Geesh. There's no one else in this room, and I feel like
someone just pinched me.
"I did. You know, all this insipid hovering over Mulder, the
arched eyebrow, the 'Scully Look', and the
ten dollar words
are getting to be annoying."
Now, I think that was a female's voice. It sounded kind of
familiar, but as I'm a little tired, I
think I can safely say
no one else is here but me.
"What the hell are you doing with me now?"
Now I'm hearing things for certain.
"Yes, you are. So, here I am! Deal with it!"
Hey! You're Scully. I can't see or hear you, though. So, it
must be time to take my meds and
get to bed. Goodnight. We can
do the story tomorrow.
"Wait right there, Miss! You turn that computer off and I'll
still follow you around, because I have
a few things to say
about Mulder and me."
Now I get it. Mulder bugged me a year ago January, so now
you want your turn. Look, this is
only fanfiction. There are
plenty of other people out there you can bug right now. Susan
just posted something, Vickie
is working on a story, Skinfull
definitely has something up her sleeve. Why me?
"Gotta start somewhere, Pattie. Now, why am I always the one
who leans over Mulder and calls the EMS?"
Well... needless to say, you are his partner. You know, you
have his back, he has yours.
"Not always. Sometimes I'm not around. Why couldn't I have been
somewhere else, already hunting
down this twin brother?"
This is the way I am writing the story right now.
"Well, it just always seems you put me in that scenario. I'm
always rescuing Mulder, when in fact
I could be bringing in
the collar, even solving the whole case by myself!"
Doesn't somebody want to be wanted like me...
"Stop singing when I'm talking to you. I see no connection
between this and the Ed Jerse tatoo episode."
Well, I beg to differ with you, Agent Scully. It sounds like
you're trying to tell me you want something
when I put your dialogue into my stories.
"Precisely! As for Mulder always getting so injured, and
losing his gun, getting into odd predicaments
I can rescue him... "
Those are your characters as laid out by your creator, Chris
Carter. You know that. Remember all
the series writers
who developed your characters?
"Must you writers dwell on those things so much? There is a
lot more to Mulder, and a lot more to me, as
a matter of
fact, than you write!"
Well, before you get your shirt tied in a knot, Scully,
why don't I put you two into a wonderful NC-17
of a smutfic, and then put myself out of character...
"Because you don't do that. You do have a point, I'll concede
Thank you. Look, I know that both of you characters grew
and developed since the first season of
the show, and you
definitely knew each other a lot better by the time The Truth
"Yes, we did. But, in fact, I have seen so many interpretations
of our characters by writers just during
the first season alone,
and then some really ridiculous ones even from you by the time
you wrote about the seventh
season and even after The Truth, that
I have to say it gets frustrating for us to keep track of where
we are at any
Why should that bother you? It's true that there are so many
versions of you and Mulder, as well as so
many writers, but we
only mean the things we write in a flattering way, you know.
Haven't you noticed that lately I'm
trying to stick as close
to the series version of you as possible?
"Well, I'll grant you that. But how many times have you
written a story from my point of view? A 'Scully
as you call it?"
Only a couple of times. But it's not that I don't enjoy
writing you, it's just something that hasn't
my mind that often. I will try to do one again, in
the future. It's a matter of imagination, challenge,
just subconscious prompts.
"I realize that. But in one of your stories from my point of
view, I was drunk the day before Christmas
Eve, and you had me
spouting off to my Journal, then writing a hot-headed letter to
Which you didn't give him. Face it, you were angry as hell at
him for leaving town while a report
had to be written up. Well,
Scully, I do remember that in 'Dear Undear Mulder', he did in
fact show up with a
vase that his mother wanted you to have. Am
"Point taken, and you had me forgive him. What's that over
I'm not falling for that. Didn't Mulder tell you? I never let
the characters touch the keyboard
or look at the other stories
I have when they come to prod me. Well, especially Mulder.
Make that Mulder's the
only one who's come to bug me as you are
doing this evening, but he tries to change my words and I forbid
doing so. Besides, I can erase whatever you say at any
given moment. So, where have you been that you haven't come
bug me before?
"I've been busy. I'm in so many stories right now..."
Right. You've had since 1994 to bother the writers, and they
have indicated that most of the time
Mulder is the one to
say, "Hey wait a minute! What the heck are you doing to us?"
So, where have you been that you couldn't poke us and chastise
us for our rendition of you, Scully?
Are you afraid of
"Well, no, not really... "
You know, it's usually Mulder who's so hesitant to speak, and
here you are actually stumbling over your
words. If you want me
to write your part in a story more strongly and brilliantly,
all you need to do is let me know,
or leave a message with
one of the readers who give me feedback. They're representing
you when they praise or object
to anything I have had you do or
"You're right, Pattie. But get this straight--the next time I
come to your place, I'm going to be
stronger and more vociferous
in my opinion."
I realize that. Now, would you please let me get back to what
I was doing? It's getting very late.
"Well, I do have a few other people on my list. Especially
Daydreamer, Philiator, a few of the folks in
Ireland, Brazil... "
I think you'd better go to the US first. It's closer, and there
are a heck of a lot of writers down there.
I mean across the
"That's where I'm headed. Oh, I almost forgot... "
"Try not to injure Mulder so much. It gets in the way of the
apprehension of the criminals, and the exposure
Conspiracy, not to mention the brief interludes of personal
Noted. Thanks for the visit. I'll make note of everything
you've said. Scully? Hmm, I guess she's
gone. Well, at
least she doesn't bring a chill to the room like Mulder does
when he bothers me. It is getting
a bit chilly in here, come
to think of it.
"Did I hear my name?"
I'll tell you folks some other time. It's going to be a rough
visit, I believe.