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Mulder's New years Resolutions 2
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Title: Mulder's New Year's Resolutions ll
                           Author: Pattie
                           Rated: PG-13.  Darn 'dammit' word, and a couple of others.
                           Category: Vignette, Mulder POV.
                           Spoiler: Season 3
                           Summary: Once again, Mulder's attempting to set goals for the
                           New Year. Har dee har har!
                           Feedback: Gratefully considered at
                           Archive: Anyone who wants it, just ask.  
                           Disclaimer:  I found them abandoned on a roadside just 
                           outside my house.  Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Fox 
                           Studios own the rights to them, but they need upkeep.  I am 
                           doing this for no money and most certainly don't intend 
                           copyright infringement.
                           J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
                           WASHINGTON, DC
                           DECEMBER 31, 1996
                           12:31 PM
                           Mulder really thought he'd rather not embark upon such
                           folly as he had done last year. He knew that setting lofty
                           goals for the next year was unrealistic, and as a 
                           psychologist he knew damn well that people who make these 
                           lists tend to kick themselves in the ass when they haven't 
                           kept their resolutions.  In other words, he didn't want to 
                           feel any more guilt than he was already carrying, and had 
                           been carrying for most of his life.
                           He sat down to his computer after once again declining a 
                           lunch invitation from Scully. She seemed to believe his 
                           meager excuse that he had to do a virus scan on the hard 
                           Once again, he opened up a window and began:
                           "This next year being 1997, I Fox William Mulder, do hereby
                           resolve to accomplish the following tasks:"
                           "Dammit!  Didn't I do this last year, and blow almost every
                           item?" he whispered. "Okay, I'll throw caution to the wind
                           and get this done anyhow.
                           1) Clean my apartment from top to bottom, up, down, east, 
                           west, north, south, and all that, yada yada yada, like I said 
                           last year, with the incentive that some time soon I may 
                           actually choose to... invite Scully in for a beer. What the 
                           2) Stock my refrigerator with more than just orange juice, 
                           beer and left over pizza and Chinese Food.  Well, this year 
                           I had food, too. Wow!  In addition, I resolve to adhere to 
                           expiry dates and the three-day refrigerated food rule, which 
                           I discovered the hard way while Scully was bringing me the 
                           autopsy results from a murder case, and needed reprints as 
                           a result.
                           3) Cease and decist from leaving sunflower seed hulls in 
                           company rental cars. As old habits die hard. I will bring 
                           little litter bags, or I could throw them out onto deserted 
                           roadsides, thereby recycling them.
                           4) Refrain from ditching Scully... even though my hunches 
                           are dead on and I have spared Scully from danger by doing 
                           so this past year.  Who am I kidding? Well, I'll try.
                           5) Continue to call Scully at night for trumped-up reasons
                           because that's my nature, and I know she would keel over 
                           from shock if I suddenly stopped the silly ritual. Besides, 
                           I think, in some arcane sort of way, she likes it!
                           6) Definitely, without a doubt, with God as my witness, 
                           never again refer to Skinner as... no, that was last year I 
                           stopped calling him 'Chrome Dome'... I resolve never again 
                           to refer to him as 'Mr. Clean's Evil Twin', when out at the 
                           bar all we FBI gents seem to frequent.
                           7) Kiss Scully passionately on the lips to wish her Happy 
                           New Year tonight, since last year my face was too badly 
                           bruised to do so, and I wasn't able to walk anyhow.
                           8) Duck in case she tries to slug me, as I said last year, 
                           and although I don't think she would, one just never knows.
                           9) Use all my training, leads, resources, and spare time to 
                           find Samantha because I need to get her back for Mom, and I
                           can't sleep until I do.  I'm going to win this one, no 
                           matter who gets in the way. Except, I'm going to see to it 
                           that my search in no way harms Scully.
                           10) Duck tonight.  It's definitely, positively going to 
                           happen tonight.  I think. I can only hope?
                           Signed, this 31st day of December, 1996
                           Fox William Mulder."

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