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Rock Of Gibralter

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Title: Rock of Gibraltar

Author: Pattie

Rated: PG

Category: A, Post-Ep., Mulder POV.

Spoiler: One Breath

Summary: Mulder, overjoyed that Scully was returned, faces a

Archive: Gossamer. All others please ask. Usual places, go


Disclaimers: All X-Files characters belong to Chris Carter,
1913 Productions, and Fox Studios, but they are being
sprung for a little daylight, and returned to their beds
later. Any fictitious characters are merely that and
really nothing more than thoughts generated by a few

Okay. She's back, and I wasn't the one to find her. I can
live with that. Someone dumped her here at the hospital
and took off. Left at the desk by person or persons
unknown, and I don't doubt they want to remain unknown. I
can deal with that.

I see her mother sitting steadfast at her bedside, and
when she's not there, I am. Her sister wants to work some
mystical vibes into Scully, to bring back her life force.
Bill wants to skin me alive because she followed me in my
quest. He doesn't know the half of what we've seen.

Whoever abducted her sure did a number on her systems. I
can't bear to look at the greyness of her once porcelain skin,
so I look at her the way I want to see her: healthy, strong
with a slight hint of pink in her cheeks, warm rosy lips,
and perfectly smooth forehead. I need to see her zest for
life, that gleam in her eye that sometimes fascinates me,
instead of the deathly pallor that betrays her weariness.

When she recovers and she will recover, (shut up about taking
her off of life support), I can't tell her that I know they
did something to her that she could not deal with. As I sit
here in the hallway, waiting my turn to see Scully, I know this
information would kill her if I told her, even if she regains
perfect health.

How do you tell someone who thrives on family life, who wants
a family of her own some day, that she has no chance of ever
conceiving a child? That "they", whoever they many be, took
all of her eggs, and that even if I can recover just one vial
of them, they may not be good enough to give her a child?

"She's awake. You can see her," I'm told.

Small consolation when I consider the secret I may have to
keep for the rest of my life--or hers.

The treatment, no matter how unconventional it was, is
successful. And I have something to give her that she can
cling to for hope. Something I have worn around my neck in
the hope I would find her. A symbol of her faith.

I walk in, knowing this seems like a very long walk, and
I know she's back with us. She's glad to see me. I place
the gold cross around her neck. Even if it didn't help me
find her, perhaps it will help her enough to understand what
she might discover some day. As long as she has her faith,
and I know where the remaining ova are, perhaps there is
some way... when she's ready... until then, as her friend,
I face a real dilemma.

I've decided not to tell her for now. It poses a real
problem for me, but I must protect this person who has given
me so much strength. I can't risk destroying my Rock of
Gibraltar. For now, I feel I need to be that to her.