Pattie's Pocketful of X-Fics

Postcard From Fanficland 1

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                           Title: Postcard From Fanfic Land
                           Author: Pattie
                           Rated: PG-13
                           Spoilers: Small hint at The Unnatural.
                           Categorization: Humour, Angst.
                           Summary: Mulder shows Scully what the fanfic writers have been doing 
                           with their characters, nice and not-so-nice.
                           Archive: Gossamer, any other nice home.
                           Disclaimer: The X-files, characters and plot ideas all belong to
                           Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox Studios.  The legend lives 
                           Fanfictionland!  A vast expanse of endless scenery, situations, 
                           characters, relationships, emotions, mysteries and machinations. In 
                           this area of fiction, there is room for almost anything to happen, and 
                           every  character who lives in Fanfictionland is quite aware of the many 
                           ways writers interpret them.  For, as they were once the idea of a 
                           single  writer or perhaps a team, now they live on not only in books, 
                           film, photographs and audio recordings, but in the imaginations and 
                           writings of the fanfiction writers.
                           Don't think for a minute that many of them aren't curious as to what 
                           we all have them saying, doing, where they're travelling, and how they 
                           are solving the often loose-ends during or after the productions of 
                           their original creators' products end, wondering what could have 
                           happened next.
                           Let's take a look at two characters who just happen to be the subjects 
                           common to a TV show remembered in fanfiction... 
                           "Scully!  Take a look at this!"
                           "Just a sec., I want to say one more thing to Lucy Ricardo...  Okay, 
                           now you're looking in on the Fanfic writers again.  Mulder, there are 
                           some characters from Flipper who would really like to meet you to 
                           talk about the Big Blue episode... , and you should meet Eddie 
                           Munster... "
                           "Scully, look at what they did to me in THIS Muldertorture story!"
                           "Oh, my!  What a thing to do to a poor Coke bottle... "
                           "Look a little further over to the left, Miss Smart Socks.  See what 
                           I mean, and then laugh again!"
                           "I'm entertaining the guys, as a stripper at a stag for one of the 
                           agents, and Skinner orders me to do the...  WHAT a sinking feeling I 
                           have in my stomach.  I can't look... "
                           "Well, there you are up there making booties for the fifth little 
                           baby Scully expects in this fic.  Nice stitches."
                           "I guess that's cool,  I don't recall Chris telling me I know how 
                           to do that.  That's rather sweet.  Oh, look what I'm doing with you 
                           here in this one... I just LOVE this... "
                           "Yeah, this is one of my favourites.  You were so inventive, yet so 
                           gentle.  The banana cream pie... "
                           "The chocolate sauce, and the alien slippers. That was the most fun
                           birthday party in years."
                           "Just the two of us... "
                           "Some people write us in threesomes... "
                           "Oh.  Well, I've been so busy talking to all the other characters 
                           we don't know yet, I had no idea."
                           "Some of them want us apart... "
                           "Interesting. Or with others, I take it."
                           Long pause here, folks.  Can't wait to hear what she says next.
                           "Well, I think... Hey!  That one over there has me dead, that one 
                           has me with Krycek, or Skinner, or Skinner and Doggett, married 
                           to an old college professor, never having met you... "
                           "That one has ME dead, that one has me dancing drunkenly with a 
                           bear, there I am worried about your cancer returning, over there... 
                           yes, over there ...  THAT'S a very good, five hanky rated, tender 
                           love story."
                           "Mulder, I think I'm on the verge of tears... aw... and look at 
                           the bride and groom picture with Duchovny and Anderson right beside 
                           us. Our characters are being so warm and genuine... and I trust you 
                           there. SEE!  See that one over there!  Look at what those kidnappers 
                           are doing to me!!!! Please, MULDERRRR!"
                           "Shhh, it's okay. Just snuggle up on this ballpark bench with me 
                           here. Now, it's only fiction, just remember that... "
                           "Um, (sniff), Mulder..."
                           "I'm not going anywhere."
                           "I just found out how sexy you look in a tee shirt and boxers... "
                           "That's food for thought.  Gee, I remember that shower scence in
                           the series... "
                           "We were in decontamination, and I was kind of thinking... "
                           "Oh, how cold it was."
                           "No, you weren't.  You were thinking about something else... "
                           "Yeah.  And you were, too."
                           "If you say so.  Are you ticklish..."
                           "No!  Hey!  NOOOOO!!!!  SPOOKY!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
                           "Gotcha! Kissy little Starbuck... Mmmmmm"
                           "Really, sometimes I wonder just who has corrupted whom... "
                           "Shut up, Mulder. Just shut up and grab a baseball bat. I 
                           wanna play some baseball!"
                           "Just assume the position and let me teach you. Let's score
                           "Wouldn't dream of having it any other way, Mulder.  Wave to 
                           our Moms and Dads over there... "
                           "Yes, they're all here.  Isn't it good to be imaginary... "

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